


let loss reveal it

by ignisgayentia



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Love Confessions, M/M, Reminiscing, World of Ruin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27067150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignisgayentia/pseuds/ignisgayentia
Summary: Noctis tries to hide his feelings for his shield on the last night they're together before the dawn will return; after all, what's the point if Noctis won't be around anymore? Gladio, on the other hand, can't stand to see them part without laying it all out, one last time.Written for Lost in the Wild: A Gladnoct Zine.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	let loss reveal it

**Author's Note:**

> LOL so this was the SECOND zine piece i've ever written; i was honored to be accepted into both of the 'lost and found' zines, [a gladnoct zine](https://twitter.com/GladNoctZine) to pair with the promnis zine! they also will be having leftover sales soon, please check it out if you can! lots of wonderful art and fic to go along with!
> 
> i had only a 1500 word count limit for this one, so i tried to do with that what i could and throw an angsty world of ruin confession together. i hope you enjoy!

Noctis feels missing, somehow, just out of reach of entirety.

Despite having more clarity now that he’s exited the crystal after ten long years, he still feels as if there’s something left unfinished and unspoken—something  _ apart  _ from having to bring the light back to the entire world in a matter of hours.

Reuniting with his companions eased a lot of the feeling,  _ mostly _ . Seeing Ignis and Prompto so close after the long dark sparked a happiness in Noctis that he didn’t know could exist anymore. 

Seeing Gladio was something else entirely, reminding Noctis just what it’s like to love someone with all his heart.

Gladio has both changed and not since Noctis last saw him in the last decade. He has more scars, more muscle, more facial hair (Noctis can relate to that one, at least). Despite being ten years older, he’s still so handsome—jawline as strong as ever, amber eyes nearly glowing by the fire despite the permanent night. When those eyes meet Noctis’s, a familiar rush of heat returns to Noctis’s cheeks, and Noctis wishes he could find the proper words that could convey all of his feelings for his shield sitting so close, yet worlds apart.

Noctis could never be so cruel to actually say them, however. He’ll be gone by the time the dawn arrives, and he can’t leave Gladio to carry that burden. He’d never do that to him. Noctis can take this love with him alone. He’s kept it with him his entire life; one more night will be easy.

It doesn’t make it any easier that this is the last night he’ll spend with all of them—with  _ Gladio. _

Noctis rises from his chair around the campfire, suddenly overwhelmed with it all. He knows he’ll have to tell them how much they mean to him later, but for now, he’s struck with nothing but silence. He walks to the edge of the haven, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to overflow. It’s all so much, and yet not enough.

Seeing Gladio again, the campfire’s glow illuminating his features, reminds him of the old days, back when they were children and went camping all the time, when things were far simpler—as simple as they could be for someone like Noctis.

\-----

_ Noctis can hardly breathe from laughing. He almost always loses tickle fights with Gladio, even if Noctis sneaks up on him. Despite Gladio only being two years older, he’s definitely growing faster than Noctis. At twelve years old, Gladio’s growth spurt easily pins Noctis to the haven ground, fingers torturously digging into Noctis’s sides. _

_ “Okay, okay, truce!” Noctis whines, tears spilling from his eyes from all the laughter.  _

_ Gladio smirks, finally rolling over and sitting next to Noctis during a miraculous act of mercy. “Giving up already? Guess we gotta keep trainin’ you. Princes can’t give up.” _

_ “You don’t play fair,” Noctis points out, his breathing finally calming after a moment.  _

_ Gladio’s been so serious lately. Noctis wonders if he’s done something wrong, but his dad assured him that he’s just been caught up with training. Noctis doesn’t really know why they train Gladio at all—he’s already the toughest kid Noctis has ever seen. He feels safe around Gladio—warm. He wishes every day could be like this camping trip; close to Gladio always, laughing together like normal. He doesn’t want this to ever end. _

_ “It is fair, you just don’t like it,” Gladio teases, elbowing him playfully. “That attitude’s not gonna make you a good king someday.” _

_ Noctis sighs. That’s so far away; he doesn’t even want to think about it. He just wants to fish with Gladio, like he has been all weekend. “Well, good thing you’re here to teach me then, huh?” _

_ Gladio snorts, shaking his head as he drapes his arm over Noctis’s shoulders. “Guess so. I’m the best to learn from, don’t worry.” _

_ Noctis loves how self-assured Gladio is; it’s like he never has to guess how Gladio feels. He leans in closer to Gladio, head resting on his shoulder. “You’re really gonna be around forever, right? Just like our dads are always together?” _

_ “Yep. Gotta be.” _

_ Noctis stiffens against Gladio. He said it so bluntly; worry works its way through Noctis’s chest that Gladio might outgrow him someday. “D’you… think you’re gonna get tired of me? That’s a long time. Maybe we gotta find new games to play...” _

_ Gladio’s arm tightens around Noctis’s shoulders. “Oh, I’ll definitely get tired of you,” he says teasingly, before ruffling Noctis’s hair. “Nerd.” _

_ \----- _

Noctis finds himself smiling bittersweetly into the darkness of the long night. He’ll never really know if Gladio did get tired of him after all this time, especially when he used to think that Gladio hated him before they got to really know each other.

“Don’t wander off like that,” Gladio’s deep voice fills Noctis’s ears. A weight presses on Noctis’s shoulder—Gladio’s hand, Noctis realizes. “Still used to you not being around. Gotta remember how to keep you in my sight all over again.”

Gladio’s voice, after all this time, twists Noctis’s heart into a knot. Noctis’s smile widens, tears still welled in his eyes as he places his hand on top of Gladio’s warm one, always so  _ warm. _

“Sorry. This is... all too much—and not enough all at the same time,” Noctis says softly, sighing shakily. “I was thinking about when we were camping together. As kids. D’you remember when I asked if you’d get tired of being around me?” He laughs sadly.

Gladio huffs out a dejected laugh of his own under his breath, grip tightening on Noctis’s shoulder. “Yeah, I do.”

Noctis hesitates for a moment. “Did you... ever get tired of me?”

Gladio’s thumb strokes Noctis’s shoulder gently. “Don’t think I could ever get tired of you, Princess.”

The floodgates break, of course, at Gladio’s tease. Noctis laughs at the same time as the tears start to overflow, sliding down his cheek silently. “Me either, Gladio. I don’t know how to tell you how much you’ve meant to me.”

More silence deafens before Gladio lets out a shaky sigh. “I wish you would.”

Noctis feels his heart break all over again. “You… you know that I can’t…”

Knowing that Gladio wants him to is almost worse than the opposite; Noctis hadn’t expected it, not really-- not when they all know what will happen to Noctis soon. 

“Well, I can.” Gladio’s tone is self-assured and terrified all at once. Noctis has never heard Gladio sound so scared.

Noctis turns with surprise, teary-eyed, making the mistake of looking into Gladio’s eyes, which are just as watery. Gladio surges forward, collecting Noctis in his arms. Noctis feels the missing piece inside him slowly start to fill as his shield holds him tighter than he’s ever held him outside of battle, arms strong and protective around Noctis. Noctis melts against him, letting out a soft sob that Gladio would usually chastise him for. Gladio’s silent this time, allowing Noctis to cry as much as he wants.

“I don’t wanna do this to you,” Noctis says against Gladio’s chest as soon as he recovers enough to speak.

“Let me,” Gladio insists, one of his hands sliding up to bury in Noctis’s long, shaggy hair. “Can’t choose who we’re in love with. Even if I could, it’d still be you.”

Noctis sobs again, his heart pounding as he digs his fingers into Gladio’s shirt, as if it could keep Noctis from having to leave when the dawn comes.

“I love you so much,” Noctis says, and it feels so good to let out, to let Gladio know how much he cares and has cared all these years.

Gladio is silent for a moment, but Noctis can hear the hammering of Gladio’s heart with his head against his chest. His grip around Noctis tightens. “Been waiting decades to hear you say it.”

Guilt stabs Noctis in the chest, another tear escaping his eye. “I’ve wasted… so much time… we could’ve been--”

“Shh,” Gladio soothes, fingers stroking Noctis’s hair. “It ain’t wasted.” He pulls back just enough to cup Noctis’s cheek, looking into his eyes. A silent tear rolls down Gladio’s cheek. “Just have to make the rest of our time count. I never wasted anything with you, Noct.”

Noctis can’t help but smile through his tears, beaming at Gladio despite the darkness, despite all they’ve been through. Gladio’s hand is warm against his cheek, calloused from years of fighting, no doubt. He surges forward just as Gladio does to connect their mouths. Kissing Gladio comes as easy as the breaths he takes to do so, the softness of Gladio’s lips keeping Noctis grounded. Noctis can’t get enough of him, kissing Gladio with years of longing and passion that Noctis has no idea how he kept bottled for so long. Noctis rests his hand on Gladio’s cheek, the other burying in Gladio’s long, soft hair as their kiss solidifies everything left unsaid.

Noctis feels complete.

**Author's Note:**

> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/ignisgayentia) and [tumblr](http://ignisgayentia.tumblr.com/) if you'd like to see me blab more about these nerds!


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